The Other Twin
by symphiann
Summary: Edward left home ten years ago over bad blood and angry words. Now a family tragedy brings him back to the place he swore to never return to. Will he find forgiveness and maybe something a little more. AH, AU, CANON.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! So I pulled this story and am reposting the beginning chapters that I had posted and then continuing it from there. I absolutely LOVE this story and I don't think I had done it complete justice the first time. I won't be making major changes to the chapters or story, just adding a polishing touch. It's been YEARS since I have updated this, so if you are an old reader please read and refresh. If you are a newbie to this story: Welcome! I hope you enjoy and review! Alright, I will be updating every Sunday :)**

 **Disclaimer...I own nothing besides my original characters and story line.**

I have not been home for almost ten years. Not that I hadn't wanted to go home but bad blood and words I wish I hadn't spoken kept me from returning to the place where I had grown up. The place where my mother planted flower's every spring, where my Father built a tree fort us, and where my twin brother and I would play for hours in the wet forest surrounding our house. I can still remember the last time I was home, I raged at the three people that meant the most to me. I said things to my twin that were unforgivable. I never imagined that ten years would go by without any word from them. I had accepted the fact that I was out of their lives, that time would not heal all wounds. That's why I was shocked yesterday when my parent's phone number was flashing on my caller id. My hand hesitated over the phone, not sure if answering was a good idea. _"Edward man up and answer the call, you know how much you have missed the sound of your mother's voice."_

If I had only known why my Mother was calling I would have ran from that phone so fast and I would not have turned around. It was because of that call I am now on a red eye flight to Seattle. It was also because of that call I have guilt churning in my gut so thick that I am sure that it is going to spew forth and manifest into its own being. The guilt is because of the last thing I said to my twin ten years ago. "I hate you Elijah, you are dead to Me." and now those are the last things I will have ever said to him, the call was my mother sobbingly informing that Elijah was killed in a car accident on the way to Seattle.

"Sir would you like anything to drink?" the flight attendants nasally voice broke into my thoughts.

"Vodka if you have any, please," I said without looking at her. I ran my hand through my already disheveled hair. I saw her too tan hand place two-miniature bottles of the clear liquor on the tray in front of me.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" she purred leaning closer to me; I was almost gagging on her cheap perfume. I turned my head to her, taking in her over-processed blonde appearance. Why is it that every blonde bimbo thinks that they are God's gift to me. I definitely did not.

"I am positive that there is not anything else you can do for me," I sneered grabbing the little bottle of heaven sitting in front of me. Cracking open the lid, I put the bottle to my lips and forced the burning alcohol down my throat.

"Well if you change your mind, just push that little button right up there and I will come running," She said leaning over me to point to the call button and pressing her prominent cleavage into my face. Seriously, could this chick not take a hint? I turned to her and gave her the "don't fuck with me" look and stated, "Believe me, I won't change my mind."

She promptly backed off, her face flushing a little and stuttered, "Of course sir, please enjoy the rest of your flight," She then turned tail and fled to the flight attendant station, I am sure to cry about what an asshole I am. I really didn't care. Maybe if I had been on this flight for another reason I would have taken that plastic blonde into the tiny bathroom and fucked her three ways from Sunday, but not today. I wanted to sit in this chair and get so blindly drunk that I could not feel this guilt anymore, I want to be numb. I knew I would have to face reality soon, my mother insisted on meeting me at the airport. She refused to let me get a rental car and drive home. I didn't argue with her, she just lost a son. Now she was getting one back in the lieu of the aftermath. Maybe she wanted to be there because my face was a spitting image of Eli's and for a moment, she could pretend that I was him.

However, we all know that I am not him, never could be. I hope that my parents wouldn't be too disappointed when they realize that. I hope that they don't regret calling me home when they realize that a twin face doesn't make me him.

I needed more alcohol. I really did not want to flight attendant Barbie to come back here though. I guess getting shit faced was out the question. It is probably for the best though; do not want mom to have to deal with my drunken ass.

Once my flight touched down in Seattle, I sat in my seat until everyone else was gone. I knew I had to get off, my Mother would know that my flight had landed and I really didn't like the idea of her standing all alone in airport, they're too many weirdoes around. I pulled myself out of the seat and grabbed my bag from the overhead compartment. _"Well here goes nothing."_ I thought as I made my way out of the terminal and into the busy lounge area. I went through security and fought my way to the baggage claim area. That is when I saw her, the same caramel hair, a new gray tinge to it though. Her watery green eyes were frantically searching the crowd until they landed on me and then tears burst forth and she was running.

Once she reached me, she threw her arms around me holding me so tight. I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around her, picking up her dainty shaking frame and squeezing her to me. I was home, she still smelt of cookies and vanilla. Her arms still felt safe and warm. I didn't realize how much I missed her until now. I should have come home sooner; it should not be because of this reason.

"Oh Edward," she crooned into my neck "I have missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Mom," I whispered back, feeling a tightness building in my chest.

I set her back on the ground, so I could get a good look at her. Her hair definitely had gray mixed in with the caramel, there were new lines around her eyes and mouth that were not there ten years ago. Besides that, she looked the same. She reached her hands up to my face, pressing them into my checks. She seemed to be looking for something, I knew what it was. She was not going to find it. After a minute, she sighed and dropped her hands. I reached out entangling our fingers together; I wasn't ready to give up contact. She seemed surprised by this touch but it didn't let faze her. She squeezed my fingers and said, "How was your flight?"

"It was fine," I said leading her over to the baggage claim. By then only my bag was left on the conveyer belt. "Where's Dad?"

"He's at home with Grams and Pops, their flight landed earlier today," she explained, "He didn't want to leave them alone."

"Oh" was my genius reply. I really didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to bring up Eli in this crowded airport. I wanted the details, but they would have to wait until we were home.

"You ready?" I turned to my Mom, there were fresh tears running down her face.

"Are you okay, Mom?" I asked sweeping my fingers under her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

"I'm sorry Edward, I promised myself that I wasn't going to do this here, but I just forgot how much you two looked alike. Not that I am comparing you two," she added quickly "It's just hard. I know it's you but it's just, you know." I understood what she could not say, she was use to Eli.

"It's alright, Mom." I said wrapping my arm around her shoulder "Let's go home."

The ride home passed quickly. Mom kept to safe topics.

"So are you still in New York?" she asked after we were on the highway.

"Yeah I am," I replied staring out the window. I'm not sure I am ready for all of this.

"What are you doing there?" she asked squeezing my hand.

"I'm just composing music and playing in an orchestra," I left out the part that the orchestra I played in was New York's finest and that I was their lead piano player. I'm sure she already knew that though. If she knew I was in New York, she knew where I worked.

"That sounds nice," she said simply "I really miss listening to you play."

"While I'm home I'll play for you," I amended

"Are you leaving a girl behind back home?" she cringed when she said the word home. Home would never be New York.

"Not really," I sighed, another thing I really did not want to get into.

"What does that mean?" she said using her Mom voice. I ran my hand through my hair for the hundredth time today and told her "I was seeing a girl named Maggie, but it wasn't working out. So we called it quits a few weeks ago. She is pretty certain that we can work our problems out, but I am not." I hope that was enough of an answer for her.

"Well the right one will come along Sweetie," she said squeezing my knee.

Seriously, I missed my mom. The rest of the car ride was a quiet affair. Both of us lost in our thoughts, I am sure that hers were also about Eli. My mind was on repeat of the last time I saw his face, the hurt and the anger there. I could feel my stomach churning again. I decided that I needed to move to a safer memory, or else I was going to lose the vodka and peanuts I had on the plane. I picked out a memory that was safe and reminded me of a time that Eli and I were friends, best friends.

 _We were sixteen and dad took us to a car lot, telling us he would only buy one car that we had to share. We spent hours on that lot arguing about which car to get. I really wanted the silver Volvo that shined like a nickel in the sun but Eli wanted this ugly green Trans Am. After hours of arguing, we decided we would decide this maturely, rock, paper, scissor style. We kept tying, some weird twin thing I guess. Finally, Dad had enough and refused to buy either, so he bought this ugly black 79' Chevy truck and we were pissed. However, after a few days we loved the hell out of that truck. I am pretty sure that we both lost our virginity in that truck. The old truck saw us through almost every major milestone in high school._

The tightness in my chest was spreading to my throat. I could feel tears burning the back of eyelids. I blinked furiously trying to stop the tears. I did not want to break down here, in my mom's car. I wanted it to happen in the private. I did not want to add to my mother's grief. I did not want her to try to console me; I deserved to feel this pain and guilt. I needed it to consume me. My parents have the right to grieve and move on, not me I will carry this sadness with me until my last day as a monument to my twin.

As we passed the sign telling me that we were now in Forks, I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. Nothing has changed here. The buildings look the same in inky light. It was even raining. We quickly passed through town and were on the dirt road that led through the forest to my childhood home. Even though things hadn't changed in town, I knew nothing of my family's life here. I didn't even know where Eli lived, what he did for a living. I didn't even know if he was with " _her_ " anymore.

My jaw clenched on its own accord. I really didn't want to think about that, the reason I stayed away for so long, the reason I now have to live with this guilt. The hatred starting building in my gut for her, I could feel it seeping through my veins, burning a path of fire. I wanted to blame her, I wanted to find her and lash out at her. I want to pour all this guilt and sorrow into her. I wanted her to know that it is her fault that I will never see my brother again, I never get to hear his voice, see his eyes full of life. I will never get to apologize for everything. He'll never know how sorry I am.

Before I could let the rage really start flaring my parent's big white mansion came into view. The sight of my childhood home wiped all the angry thoughts out of my head. My mother sighed next to me as she pulled into the garage. She turned to me and said "I know that you have a lot of questions about, well everything. But can we wait for that conversation until the morning?"

I looked at the clock realizing that it was after two in the morning.

"Of course, Mom," I said as I opened the car door. After I gathered my bags from the trunk I made my way into the house. It smelt the same, a mixture of vanilla, honey and wood polish. I took a deep breathe letting the smell sooth my soul.

"Are you hungry?" my mom whispered as she passed me.

"No, I ate on the plane," I whispered back. Vodka and peanuts count, right?

She gave me a look like she didn't believe me, but thankfully she didn't push it.

"Well I guess if you aren't hungry, we should get you to bed," she said slipping into mom mode.

"Okay," was all I could reply to that with, I was tired.

We made our way up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. Just as we hit the second floor, my parent's door opened and my father's blonde head poked out. Well more gray then blonde now. He smiled sadly at my mom, and then turned his eyes to me. What I saw there took my breath away, forgiveness. I knew that I didn't deserve it but it made the tightness in my chest spread. He walked out of the room and stood before me awkwardly. I knew he wanted a hug and secretly I did too. I dropped my bags as quietly as possible and opened my arms to him. In two seconds flat my father had his arms wrapped around me tightly.

"It's good to see you, son," he said softly

"You too, Dad."

He squeezed me tightly for another second and then let go. Awkwardness filled the hallway. I shifted from foot to the other.

"I was just taking Edward up to his old bedroom," my Mom said breaking the silence that had befallen us.

"You must be tired; it's what five am in New York?" My Dad said to me looking concerned.

"Something like that," I said running my hand through my hair again.

"Go get some sleep, we'll catch up in the morning," he said making his way back to his bedroom. "Goodnight, Edward." he added as he closed his door.

"Night, Dad," I said, even though he could not hear me anymore.

I picked up my bags and proceeded up the next flight of stairs. The only rooms up here were mine and Eli's. Mine on one side and his on the other. As I passed his closed door I stopped for a second. I knew that he couldn't have possibly lived here still, but the urge to see his room was over-whelming. My Mom had stopped and was staring intently on the door also, almost like it was a snake that was ready to pounce and bite her. I would have to wait to make an excursion in there. I walked the last few feet to my door.

"We haven't really changed much in here," my mom explained as she opened the door.

"You didn't have to do that Mom."

"I couldn't bring myself to change either of your rooms," she said a sob escaping her throat. I dropped my bags in the doorway and wrapped my now free arms around her. She held onto me for dear life. I held her for about ten minutes, letting her get it out. Finally she pulled away, looking up at me with a sad smile she said "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Mom, do not apologize for crying." was all I could say. I needed her to go, I wasn't going to hold my composure much longer. She wiped her face with her sleeve. "I put fresh bedding on the bed for you; there are clean towels in your bathroom. If you need anything else you know where it is still."

"I'm sure I do." I picked up my forgotten bags and set them onto my black leather couch.

"Sleep in as long as you want. Your Dad is leaving for the airport again in the morning, His brothers family will be in then," she said making her way to the door.

"Are Alice and Emmett going to be with them?" I asked hopefully, I hadn't seen my cousins in years.

"I think they are coming with their families," She replied "Well I am going to get to bed before your Dad comes up here and lectures me on keeping you awake."

"Okay. Goodnight, Mom," I said grabbing a pair of flannel pants from my bag, they would work for tonight.

"Goodnight, Sweetie," she said shutting the door.

Alone at last, I looked around my room for the first time since I walked into it. My Mom was right they had not changed anything. The walls were still Midnight blue; the carpet was still the plush gold. The books I hadn't taken to New York with me still lined the shelves and all the pictures that I had left behind in my anger were still there. Eli's face smiled out at me from everywhere. Him and I standing next to our old beat u black truck. Us in our football jersey's after the homecoming game. Our arms slung around each other at graduation. If we only knew that was the last picture we would take with each other, I'm sure we wouldn't be smiling as big as we were. I left two weeks after graduation. As I looked down the row of pictures we kept getting younger and younger. Us in our tree fort. Down at first beach in our matching neon green swim trunks. In the bath tub. Finally us two days old lying in Mom's arms. That's all it took the tears starting flowing, soon they turned into gut wrenching sobs. It hurt so much, as mad as I was at Eli I never stopped loving him. Pictures were all I had left of him. I grabbed the closet one to me. We were about 10 in the picture. We were wading in the creek that was behind our house trying to catch tad poles. Mom had snuck up on us taking the picture. We splashed her relentlessly for doing it but she just laughed and said that we would appreciate it one day. She was right.

"God Eli, I am so sorry," I sobbed to the picture "I should have come home a long time ago; I shouldn't have left things the way they were. I love you brother, always have and I always will."

I set the picture back down on the shelf and blindly made my way to my bed. I flopped down onto the mattress, curling up in a ball I cried until I had nothing left. I felt like such a girl but I couldn't control it. I don't know how long I stared at the ceiling before I succumbed to sleep.

I woke the next day to the sound of voices floating up the stairs, groaning I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. My head hurt from the emotional break down I had earlier this morning. After a few minutes I decided that I better get up and go down stairs. I rolled off the bed and made my way to the bathroom. After a hot shower I felt marginally better. I didn't bother looking in the mirror though I was sure my face looked like I didn't even sleep. I put on the first shirt and jeans I came across and made my way down stairs.

Once I was down there I could hear my mom's voice coming from the kitchen. My stomach growled at that exact second, I guess eating nothing but a bag of airplane peanuts over a 24 hour period wasn't going to cut it. I walked into the kitchen and about walked out again when I realized that my Aunt was comforting my mom. She had her arms wrapped around her and whispering into her ear. I felt like I was intruding. I tried to slip back out unnoticed but that didn't happen. "Edward Anthony," my mother said pulling away from my Aunt Carmen "You better get back in here and eat something. I heard your stomach from the hallway."

I walked sheepishly back into the kitchen, after pecking my mom on the check I sat down at the breakfast bar.

"Hi, Aunt Carmen," I greeted my Aunt. It had been ten years since I had seen her last but she looked the same. Tiny frame, black shoulder length hair and sparkling blue eyes. She made her way over to where I was sitting and wrapped her tiny arm around my shoulder.

"Edward, it's been too long," she said affectionately squeezing my shoulder.

"It has." I said feeling awkward. I knew I had a lot of explaining and apologizing to everyone about my absence. I have every intention of fixing my mistakes before I go back to New York. It was going to be hard, but it was the right thing to do. Eli's death has taught me that.

"I'll let you and your mom have some alone time," she said removing her arm and walking towards the door.

"That's not necessary, Carmen," my mom said turning from the pancakes she was cooking.

"Yes, it is," Carmen stated "I have some things to unpack anyways. We'll talk more later." she directed at my mom. Mom just nodded, if anyone could sympathize with mom it was Aunt Carmen. There oldest daughter Irina died when she was seven from leukemia. I knew that she would be a great support for my mom.

"Here you go," My mom said setting a plate of pancakes in front of me "There your favorite, Banana."

"Thanks Mom, they smell awesome," I said applying the butter and syrup. "But do you think that I really need ten pancakes."

"Well you look on the skinny side," She defended herself. I knew that wasn't the truth I was actually about fifteen pounds bigger then I was when I left home. It was all muscle but it was still bigger. I knew that she was just trying to pre occupy herself. It was easier to be in mom mode then it was to be in sad mode.

"Whatever you say" I laughed.

Mom fussed around the kitchen for a few more minutes, cleaning up the pancake mess. I ate in silence the only sound to be heard was my fork on the plate and mom's rag wiping down the counter. Finally she sighed and threw the rag into the sink. Turning to me, her eyes were already welling up "I think that we should talk about Eli's death now."

"Alright," I choked on the bite of pancake in my mouth, coughing I reached for my glass of milk.

"Are you okay?" my mom rushed to my side. Clearing my throat I said "I'm fine, you just took me by surprise that's all."

"We don't have to do this right now, if you don't want to."

"It's fine Mom, really. I'm ready."

"Okay let me go get your Dad. He should be here for this." she said making her way to the door to call my Dad.

A few minutes later they both walked in, with the same expression of total grief on their faces. I could feel my throat starting to tighten again. They sat down in the chairs opposite of me. My Dad cleared his throat "Eli was here that weekend, he was living in Seattle but he came home to help me get some things done before it started snowing. He left later then he wanted to on Sunday because your Mom's car was acting up and he wanted to get it running properly for her before he went back."

Mom interrupted him there and said "He told me that he didn't like the idea of me breaking down on the side of the road all by myself. I told him that he was being silly that I could take into the shop the next day, but he wouldn't listen." Tears were running freely down both of their faces at this point.

"Yes, well he was very protective of you" my Dad said "Anyways he stayed to fix the car, at around 6:30 he took off in a hurry to get home. _They_ had dinner plans that night. She had already called him numerous times trying to get him to hurry." My dad gave me a pained expression; I knew then that he was still with her. The news no longer angered me, I was just sad that I let that keep me from him. "The last thing he said to us was that he loved us and that he would call us the next day, then he was gone. About four hours later she called telling us that about fifteen miles away from their house a drunk driver swerved into his lane, killing him on impact."

My Dad barely got the last part out before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. My mom wrapped her arms around him, joining his breakdown. I could feel my own coming on; I didn't fight it though I let the waves of sorrow take me out into the sea of grief. The sounds of my own broken sobs joined those of my parents. I buried my face into my arms and wept for Eli, for all the time I had wasted, for him being so close to home and not making it, for the guilt my parents would now carry with them because of him staying later than planned. It wasn't their fault; nothing or no one could make Eli do something he didn't want to. After a few minutes I felt my mom's arms wrap around me followed by my Dads and that's where we stayed for another hour crying and holding onto each like survivors after a horrible wreck. I finally pulled myself away from my parents. I needed to know everything else now, what he did for a living, am I an Uncle? Things I should have already known, but didn't

"I have some questions about everything," I said wiping my eyes on the back of my sleeve.

"Okay," my mom said doing the same.

"I have missed out on so much the last ten years, I don't even know what Eli was doing with his life, where he lived, if he has any kids. I guess I just want to know all the details."

"Well after you left he took a year off from school and traveled the country. He said that he needed to clear his head. He was gone exactly twelve months before he showed up at our door and got back to his life. He never talked about his time away with anyone. Us or her. After he got back he attended WSU becoming a psychiatrist, he had his own practice in Seattle. He really loved his work. They got married about six years ago in a small ceremony in our backyard. They live in Seattle and she is pregnant with their first child." My mom listed off. Her voice cracking in the last sentence.

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I tried to absorb all the information my mom just dealt me. He was a doctor, which didn't surprise me. They were married, also didn't surprise me. The part that did was the baby. Not that I didn't think that was a possibility, it was just hard to think that he would never meet his child.

"When is the baby due?" was the first thing out of my mouth.

"In two months," my mom said looking down at the counter "its a little boy." she started sobbing again.

"Why isn't she here?" My anger was starting to come back. She was his fucking wife and she wasn't even with his family.

"I think she wanted to give you time to adjust to everything before she showed up," My father explained. Fuck that, she was a coward just like she always was.

"Fuck that," I repeated out loud

"Edward," My mom scolded "I know this is hard for you, but she just lost her husband and the father of her child. So when she does show up I expect you to be civil. I'm not saying that you have to go out of your way to be nice or anything. We don't blame you for the hard feelings that you have towards her. Just don't add to her grief. Please for me."

I just nodded. I didn't trust myself to say anything out loud. I pushed myself out of the chair; I needed a moment to myself.

"I'm going to go to my room."

"You don't have to," My mom said, fear I didn't understand was in her eyes.

"I just need to take a moment to absorb everything; I will come back down later," I promised

"You're not going to leave?" My mom whispered. That explains the fear.

"I'm not going anywhere Mom. I just need a minute to myself," I hugged her into my body and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. "I promise."

"Alright, do you want me to come get you when your cousins arrive?" My dad asked as I made way out of the room.

"Sure," I said.

I made my way up to the third floor in a daze. I found myself standing in front of Eli's door. I wasn't sure how long I had been there. I rested my hand on the knob, it was now or never. I used the last of my will power to turn the knob and open the door. The room was wholly Eli. From the Black carpet to the Swimsuit model posters on the wall. His Seattle Seahawks comforter was still on his bed. I flipped on light switch and shut the door behind me.

Unlike my room a lot of his personal items were missing, only a few pictures remained on his shelves, mostly repeats of what I had in my room. I turned to his bed and laying there in the middle of his pillows was Patches his over loved teddy bear. I walked over to the wall and turned off the light and made my way back to the bed. Laying down I grabbed patches and hugged him to my chest and got lost in thoughts of Eli.

A few hours later I heard the door creak open and the light flipped on. I lifted my head up from the pillow to see who was interrupting my alone time.

"Eli!" came the shocked feminine voice from the door way.

 **So there you have it folks, Chapter one. Let me know what you think. I am without a beta, so I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. If you're interested in the job PM me. Now go ahead and review, you know you want to!**


	2. Chapter 2

**SURPRISE! I know it's not Sunday but what the heck, here's a mid week treat! There will still be a chapter on Sunday too!**

 **Let me know what you think and drop a review!**

 **I am without a Beta right now..so all the mistakes are mine...sigh.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the any original characters and story line.**

 **Last chapter:**

" _Eli" came the shocked feminine voice from the door way._

 _*~*TOT*~*_

"Eli is that you?" her voice shook as she took another step into the room. I tried to find my voice but at the moment it was MIA. I don't think I have ever seen a woman as beautiful as the one standing in front of me. She was tiny in height and frame. She had long cascading brown wavy hair. The biggest chocolate colored eyes I have ever seen. Her lips were beautiful the top was a little plumper then the bottom, it made me want to bite them. Her eyes were opened wide with shock, her lips were trembling. I realized that she had no idea who I was and probably thought she was seeing a ghost.

"Edward." I corrected her.

"Huh?"

"My name is Edward." I said stupidly.

"Oh God, I am so stupid." she rushed out, her face breaking out in the most beautiful blush I had ever seen. "I knew Eli had a twin brother, I am such an idiot. It's just with you laying there in the dark; you look so much like him. I…um…will let you get back to what you were doing." She turned around rapidly, tripping over her own feet. She caught herself on the wall, mumbling to herself.

"It's alright you don't have to go." I said sitting up. "How did you know my brother, I am pretty sure we have never met before. I think I would have remembered your face." If it was possible she turned an even brighter shade of red and stammered out "I met him at WSU, we shared a few classes, got grouped together for projects." A few tears slipped down her face "He's my best friend," she whispered out.

Clearing her throat she said "I didn't think anyone would be in here, I am really sorry for disturbing you. I'm going to go back downstairs."

"You really aren't disturbing me; I was just lying in here thinking about everything, you're free to join me…um... I don't know your name."

"Oh Bella, Bella Swan," she said blushing again. I really needed her to stop doing that I didn't know how long I could control myself.

"Well Bella, Bella Swan, come join me then." I said scooting over to make room on the bed for her.

"Thanks," she said lowering herself into the spot next to me. I didn't know what it was about this girl but I felt so comfortable with her, like I had known her a lot longer then five minutes.

"Are you always this easy to get in bed?" I joked trying to lighten the melancholy mood.

"OH…no I…well….I just thought," she stammered out turning so red I thought she might explode.

"Take it easy Bella, I was only kidding," I said nudging her shoulder with mine.

"I…yeah…okay," she blushed again, really it was too adorable. "So you live in New York right?"

"Yeah, how did you know that?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Eli told me," she said looking at me in confusion

"I didn't realize that he knew where I was living," I said vaguely "We really hadn't talked for a while."

"Oh, I know," She said turning her face away from me. "He always tried to keep tabs on you though."

"Why?" I whispered stunned. She must have heard me because she turned and looked me right in the eye and said "Because he loved you very much."

"Oh, I don't know about that," I disagreed, there was no way that Eli still loved me after all that I said and did to him.

"I do," she said confidently. She reached out and grasped my hand hard with hers. "He talked about you all the time. He told me all about your guys' childhood. He even told me about your fight. I know the guilt of what he did to you ate him up a little more every day."

"He talked about hopping on a plane to New York all the time. He said that if he could just get you in the same room with him, that he could make you see how sorry he was. Your falling out was the biggest regret in his life. So do not doubt that he loved you, he did I can prove it." Her perfect face was scrunched up in determination. She let go of my hand and made her way to the bag she dropped onto the ground.

She came back to the bed with a large notebook, that was well worn and falling apart. It looked to be held together with duct tape. There were pieces of paper sticking out of it haphazardly. She sat down beside me again, laying the book in her lap. She ran her hand over the cover lovingly, stopping to smooth some of the tape into place. I examined the cover and was surprised to see Eli's hand writing in big black letters going across the front of it, disappearing under the tape. The part I could read said _To Edward._

"He started this right after you left; it started with an apology letter. He tried dozens of times to send that letter but he couldn't bring himself to do it. By the time he did, he didn't know where to send it. So that's when he started using some of his inheritance to pay a detective to find you. J. Jenks was the guy's name I think. Anyways after he found you and kept track ever since. He kept the letter though; he thought that you wouldn't be able to forgive him. So he started to keep a journal for you. He kept track of everything that he did in his life in here." She patted the notebook.

"I've never read it; he gave it to me some time back. He would take it back now and then to add to it but he said that he felt better with it in my care. I honestly think he was scared that Charlotte would find it and throw it out. She really never got over everything." I scoffed at that, that stupid bitch really didn't have anything to be upset over. She won, she tore us apart. I then realized that Bella was the only one in this house that would say her name to me, myself included. It felt freeing to hear it. She gave me a sad smile, choosing not to comment on my sound and continued.

"Anyways I think that he figured that he would eventually send this to you, hoping that it would buy your forgiveness. But now that he is gone, I brought it here to give to you. You get a chance to learn about your brother all over again in his own words. It's an amazing thing." She picked up the raggedy book and handed it to me. I grabbed it with shaking hands. I didn't deserve this; he didn't need to earn my forgiveness it was the other way around.

"It's so stupid." I choked out I didn't realize that I was crying until now. She looked at me shocked, thinking that I meant the book. "Not the book, I meant I'm so stupid. I wish I did things differently." She didn't say anything; she just patted my hand gently. "Thank you for this, it means a lot to me that you brought it."

"Well it is technically yours now, so it was only right." She pulled her hand away from mine and carefully got off of the bed. "Well I better go see if your Mom needs anything. I snuck up here when she wasn't looking, so I am sure that she is wondering where I went."

"Okay," I said still looking down at Eli's book.

"I'll see you down there later then?" she asked hesitantly

"Yeah," I looked up at her "I will be down in a few"

Her face broke out into a smile "Alright then," she said and turned tripping over her feet again. I jumped off the bed to help her up. "You know I'm starting to wonder if you're drunk," I said laughing "and also why you're not sharing."

She laughed and grabbed my extended hand pulling herself up "If only that was the reason, you'll get used to it. Eli use to joke that it God should have given me permanent training wheels."

"So I take it that this is a regular occurrence."

"You have no idea," she stated primly, dusting off her pants. "Well I have filled my quota for embarrassment for today so I am going to go now. It was very nice to meet you, Edward, I will see you downstairs." and with that said she turned on her heel, not falling this time, and rushed out the door. Chuckling I sat back down onto the bed. I really didn't know much about Bella Swan, but for the first time in a long time I wanted to know more.

I stared at the door for a few minutes after she left, I shook my head with a small grin on my face. I have never seen someone fall down so many times in such a short period. She was something else that's for sure. I glanced down at the journal sitting in my lap. I can't believe that Eli really did this. I guess it makes sense, he was a psychiatrist, and he would do the logical thing when dealing with his own personal problems.

He use try to get me to write in a journal when we were younger, saying that it would help me work through any issues I was having. I ran my hand over the worn cover and debated on opening it. Part of me wanted to dive right in and read everything, but part of me was nervous. I don't know if I could deal with the on slate of grief that was sure to follow. The curious part of me won, as I opened the cover and sitting underneath it was an envelope, my name and address written on the front of it. I set it off to the side; I would deal with the apology letter later. I just wanted to hear about him, not how sorry he was.

 **Edward,**

 **You've been gone now for almost a year and a half. I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss you. I shouldn't have done what I did and I don't know if I will ever be able to tell you how sorry I am. Enough of that though, I already explained myself in the letter. So I am writing to tell you that today was my first day of college. A year later than I thought it would be but oh well. It was a lot different then I thought it would be. In some ways it's a lot like high school. Except everything is bigger. Most of my classes confused the hell out of me. But I am sure I will catch on eventually. My dorm room is tiny, barley enough room for all of my stuff. My roommate is crazy! He is into vampires! He keeps telling me that he knows they exist and he's going to prove it one day! I just try to ignore him as much as possible. I haven't met too many people yet. Sitting here in my room I have to wonder where you are, if you're happy, if you're safe. I wonder if you found a place to play the piano at. I know how important that is to you. Mom and Dad miss you like crazy too. I know they feel bad for your falling out. I haven't told them that I know where you are, I am giving you time to deal with everything. Hopefully you will come home to them soon. I took a walk around the parent's property the other day and found myself sitting in the meadow we use to play in. I swear I could almost hear the ghost of our old selves running around the trees laughing at each other. I missed you so much in that moment. Not that I don't miss you all of the time, just sometimes it hits me harder than others. I plan on keeping this journal for you in hopes one that I grow a big enough pair and send it off to you. I also hope that this piece of me will heal our rift and bring you home. I know that I am only dreaming I can't blame you for leaving. I love you Brother.**

 **Elijah**

It was almost like he was sitting right next to me, speaking those words. It was him. I turned the page to the next entry.

 **Edward,**

 **Hey Brother. It's been awhile since I have been able to write. College life is so crazy! I met an amazing girl; she's in a few of my classes. Her name is Bella Swan. We get along great, though I do worry about her personal safety. The girl has no coordination. I think you would really like her. I can talk to her about things, you, more than I can with anyone else. Maybe it's because she is an outsider to the situation but she has helped me a lot. I hope one day you will be able to meet her. I really enjoy my classes. It's hard but rewarding. I found out today that you are playing in a piano bar. I bet it's exciting! Hopefully soon you will be living out your dream of playing in an orchestra. I was also glad to see that you are living in a better neighborhood. I worried so much when you rented your last studio. I'm sure it seems a little stalkerish that I know so much about your life there but I just want to make sure you are doing well. I love you, Brother and I miss you more then you'll ever know. I will write again soon.**

 **Elijah**

I slowly closed the journal. I could feel the tears running down my face. I knew there was much more to read in there but I was on an emotional overload as is. I am so thankful for this gift from him. I was glad to feel like I have a piece of his life for the last ten years. I am also glad that he made the effort to keep tabs on me, in a way he had a piece of my life.

I quietly left his room, shutting the door like I had never been there. I slipped into my room and laid the journal on my desk, I would finish it a little at time. I knew that I should head downstairs and spend some time with my family; I hadn't even seen my Grams and Pops yet. Plus I was little interested in seeing Bella again.

Once downstairs, I searched everyone out. I found my Dad, Uncle and Pops sitting the living room with some game playing on the T.V. None of them seemed to be watching it, all lost in thought. I plopped down on the couch next to my Pops breaking everyone out of their trances.

"Well Eddie boy, they said you were home but I was starting to think they were lying," Pops said, his wrinkled eyes dancing with amusement.

"Sorry, I meant to come find you sooner but things came up," I said laughing a little

"It's good to see you Edward," my Uncle chimed in from his chair.

"You too, Eleazar. Are Em and Alice here yet?" I asked

"Not yet, should be soon though," he said looking at his watch.

"So Eddie," Pop Started, he was the only one who could get away with calling me that. "How's life treating you in New York?"

"Good, I have a job with an orchestra. A pretty nice apartment. A tight knit group of friends. Life's good there," I said not looking at my Dad, going to New York was what had caused part of our rift.

"I'm glad to hear that, when you're my age all you want is to see your grandkids happy and living life," he said patting my knee, I couldn't help but notice the extreme sadness that lined his eyes.

My Dad interrupted there and said "I think that's all any parent or grandparent wants, Dad. I want nothing more then my kid here to be happy." His eyes were shining with unshed tears. We had so much to discuss, but now was not the time for that. I would like to do it in private just the two of us.

I smiled at him and said "Well then don't worry too much, besides the current situation, I am pretty happy."

I didn't really want to think about my life in New York, not that I was lying to my dad. I was happy there, but it still felt like it was partly due to the discord in my family. Part of me believed that New York shouldn't exist, if it didn't maybe Eli would still be here and talking with us.

"Well Eddie, I know that you had your reasons for running off, but next time please at least give your Grams a call. She worries sick about you." Pops said. Did I also mention that my Pops is also blunt as hell?

"Of course," I mumbled.

"Well with that settled I am going to see what the ladies are up to," He said standing.

"I'll go with you," I stood up, partially because I wanted to see Bella again. I felt guilty even thinking about her in that way. My brother had just passed and I was becoming enamored with a woman that he obviously held highly. Maybe it was some weird grief thing. "I want to check on Mom anyways."

We found the women huddled in the back sun porch, expect it barely ever saw sun. They were seated together on my mom's wicker furniture, sipping coffee and all lost in thought. Pops cleared his throat "Beth" he addressed my Grams "Look who I found."

Grams eyes snapped up and took me in. "Edward, my darling boy," She said, standing. "Come, let me get a good look at you."

I walked over to her, feeling Bella's eyes on me. I didn't look though, I missed my grams and my attention was solely on her.

Grams reached up and grabbed my face with her tiny wrinkled hands "I have missed you so," She whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I've missed you too, Grams," I mumbled, my throat closing a little.

"Well come give me some love then," She said, wrapping her arms around me. Being here, wrapped in my grams arms, it reminded me of being a younger version of myself. How many times have these arms held me? Too many to count. I was such an idiot for running away the way I did. I shouldn't have cut everyone out of my life. I could feel my grams start shaking with sobs. I held her tighter and raised my head, making eye contact with Pops.

"Beth," he said gently, coming up behind her. "Why don't we go rest, you must be tired after the long flight yesterday." He pulled her from my arms and into his. Shushing her gently.

"Of course Arthur, I am feeling a little tired," she said. Peeking up at me bashfully.

"When you are feeling a little more awake Grams, why don't you and I have a nice long talk?" I said, not wanting her to feel embarrassed for her break down.

"I would like that," she said, turning to leave the room with my pops.

Once they were out of sight, I settled myself in next to my mom. She reached over and grabbed my hand, holding it tightly. "Oh dear." she exclaimed after a minute "I forgot to introduce you to Bella." She looked at me and then at Bella.

"Edward, darling, this was Eli's very good friend Bella," my mom said, holding back a sob. I knew how hard it was to refer to him in past tense. "Bella, this is Edward."

"Nice to meet you, Edward," Bella said, holding out her hand daintily to shake mine. I cocked my eyebrow up at her, so were going to play that game huh? She blushed slightly at my expression.

"Nice to meet you too, Bella." I said finally, taking her small hand in mine. A shock of electricity flowed out of her hand and into mine causing me to drop her hand in surprise, her face looked like she had felt it too. I had never felt anything like that before.

"So Bella," I said recovering "You knew Eli?"

"Yes, we meet in college. We had many classes together." she gave me a watered down version of what she had told me upstairs.

"It's nice for you to be here, during this time." I said simply, wrapping my arm around my mom.

"Of course," she said, her eyes welling up, she blinked rapidly trying to hide the tears.

"Bella is pretty much family," my mom added, seeing Bella's struggle. "She is like the daughter I never had."

"Thank you, Esme, that means so much to me," she said, the tears she was fighting now running loose done her face. Before anything else was said, a very subdued Alice walked in; with a tall blonde man I had never meet following behind her.

"Alice, you made it!" my Aunt stood up, hugging her sprite of a daughter. "It's nice to see you, Jasper," she addressed the blonde man over top of Alice's head.

"You too, Carmen," he drawled out in a strong southern accent.

Southern?

After a minute Alice de-tangled herself from her Mom and wrapped herself around my mom. She started mumbling things into my mom's ear. I couldn't make most of it out, except for "I'm so sorry, he will be missed so much."

Everyone else sat or stood around awkwardly, watching the two women embrace. I looked down at my hands, feeling slightly out of place. I felt my mom stir beside me and then Alice was suddenly in my lap, wrapping her pixie arms around me.

"Edward, I never thought I would see the day that I saw you again," she said in a rush. Her usual exuberance shining through for a moment, then it faded quickly.

"Hello Alice," I said, holding her tiny frame to me.

"You jerk, I have missed you so much," her grey eyes sparkling with tears. "But I forgive you, life's too short." Eli's death hadn't only taught me a lesson I guess.

"Well thank you, Ali and I have missed you too. I also know what a jerk I am," I looked up and noticed the blonde man was eyeing me curiously. Alice sensed my curiosity.

"Oh for heaven's sake, I have forgotten to introduce you to my husband, Jasper," she chirped out, jumping out of my lap and grabbing Jasper, pulling him forward.

"Jasper, this is my cousin, Edward," she said "Edward this is my husband Jasper Whitlock."

I reached hand out "It's very nice to meet you, Jasper." he grasped my hand and shook "You too, Edward. I am very sorry for your loss."

I just nodded my head at him, not knowing what to say.

"Alice, Jasper, you remember Bella?" My mom said, waving her hand in Bella's direction.

"Of course, we met at the wedding. How are you doing?" Alice twinkled out, dancing over to Bella, pulling her up into a tight hug.

"Nice to see you again, Bella," Jasper drawled out.

"You too, Jasper," her muffled voice came out from Alice's shoulder.

Once Alice pulled away, my mom stood up suddenly "I should fix everyone lunch."

"That's not necessary, Mom," I said, trying to pull her back down into her seat.

"He's right, Esme," Carmen agreed with me.

"No, I need to make lunch," my mom resisted me, walking away quickly into the kitchen.

I knew that she was using cooking as a diversion technique, I couldn't blame her. I wish that I had something to divert my thoughts. Eli was there at every turn. I tried to think about something else, anything else but he was there. I looked around at the people in the room with me. They were carrying on a conversation, one which I didn't hear. I didn't have the energy to pay attention. I noticed how all of their eyes held the same sadness, I wondered briefly if my eyes looked the same.

Fuck, I needed to get out of here. I could feel the grief starting to pull me under again. I stood quickly, muttering out something. I hoped it was legible. I strode out of the room.

I found an old jacket of mine in the hall closet and took off across the back yard. Thankfully in my haze I remembered to grab my emergency smokes and lighter. I shoved them roughly into my coat pocket. I rarely ever smoked but I needed it.

I knew where I needed to go. The meadow that Eli and I had spent many days and nights together in.

 **So...the bitch is not Bella...had you guys fooled, right? Please drop me a review to let me know what you all think!**

 **See ya Sunday!**

 **Symphiann**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of its characters! They belong to the lovely and talented Stephenie Meyer. The original story line and any original characters do belong to me.**

Last Chapter:

I knew where I needed to go. The meadow that Eli and I had spent many days and nights together in.

I walked through the wet, soggy grass towards the woods. I knew the way to the meadow by heart. Growing up it was our favorite place to go; we spent many hours there playing pirates and ninjas. Later in life, we would go there to escape the tragedies of being a teenager. We would sneak beer there and some of dad's expensive cigars and talk about how we couldn't wait to get out of this shit hole town. It was in that meadow that I first told Eli about Charlotte.

 _I was in love, never before has a girl made me feel this way. I finally got the balls to ask Charlotte Wickstrom on a date today and much to my satisfied surprise she said yes. I couldn't wait to tell Eli all about her, he knew that I was jonesing for someone, but I hadn't shared her name with him. I didn't want to curse it by talking about her too soon. But now I could shout it to the world. But first to Eli. I hurried out to our meadow; I had seen Eli head that way when he had gotten home. I found him lying on his back, enjoying the unusual Forks sunshine. He heard me approaching and turned his head towards me._

" _You look happy; does it have anything to do with your mystery girl?"_

 _I flopped down on the ground next to him. "It's that obvious, huh?"_

" _Maybe, or maybe it's our weird twin connection. So tell me about her. Is it anyone I know?" He sat up, mirroring my relaxed position._

" _Her name is Charlotte Wickstrom, she is amazing, bro."_

" _Charlotte? Don't think I have met her," He said._

" _Well you're going to! I finally asked her on a date today and she said yes!" I burst out._

" _Well I'm excited for you bro! Maybe you guys can double with Kate and me some time," he suggested. Kate Linter was Eli's girlfriend since freshman year, they were inseparable._

" _Well, I have to see how the first date goes," I said nervously._

" _Why wouldn't it go good? You're a handsome devil, I would know" he chuckled, pointing at his face which was identical to mine._

" _Funny," I snorted._

" _I'm glad you finally found someone you care about, it is about time," He said, slapping me on the back._

" _I guess I was just waiting for the right one,"_

 _We proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out in our meadow, tossing a football back and forth and talking about our girls._

 _If I had only known then what would happen, I would have done so many things differently. I should have known that Eli fell for her. The way he looked at her the night that I brought her home to meet our family, but I was too far gone to notice though. I thought that he was just mesmerized by her beauty. But it was more than that, he fell for her and didn't tell me._

I pulled myself roughly from those long forgotten memories. It has been a long time since I even thought about the beginning of Char's and my relationship. I focused a lot on the bad stuff, and tried to bury the good underneath it all. The good was too hard to deal with, it made me wonder where I fucked up; what caused her to run into my brothers' arms. I shook my head angrily; I needed to let this shit go. I knew that I did, I was here to fix my mistakes, not dwell on them. Now that Eli had passed the only one who could give me any answers was Charlotte. I just had to decide if I was ready to hear what she had to say.

I forced all the memories away and focused on the green swaying trees that surrounded me. I missed this place. New York was beautiful in its own right; but this place was peaceful. There were no horns honking; no people shouting; no sounds reached me in my meadow, besides that of the wind whispering through the trees.

I spent another hour there, contemplating what I was going to do now. Even though I hadn't seen Eli in ten years, he was always out there, living; breathing. I don't know what to do now that he wasn't. I was sorry that I had left his journal sitting in my bedroom; this place would have been perfect for sifting through his words.

After another cigarette I decided that I should return to the house, I didn't want to worry my mom. She was going through enough, without having to worry about me running off. Yet another thing I need to make amends with. I needed her forgiveness for disappearing. I slowly made my through the forest that encircled the meadow, my strides slower than they were on the way out here.

Once I broke through the forest and into my parents' back yard, my eyes fell on the lone figure that was standing on the back patio. Bella. The wind was causing her hair to blow around her face; I don't think I had ever seen a more beautiful thing. She seemed to looking for something, her eyessearching the forest line. Once they fell onto me, her face relaxed and she took hurried steps off the porch and quickly crossed the yard to me.

"Hey," She said, stopping in front of me. "I was looking for you."

"I needed a little time to myself," I explained, my hand aching to reach up and tuck her windblown hair behind her ear. "It was getting a little heavy in there."

"Yeah," She agreed, turning her head to look back at the house. "I came out here to warn you, I guess."

"Warn me about what?"

She took a deep breath and then focused her watery brown eyes onto my green ones.

"Charlotte's here," She finally said.

"Fuck," I exclaimed, reaching into my jacket pocket and pulling out my half empty pack of smokes. I yanked one out, stuffed it into my mouth, and quickly lit it. After a long drag, I felt my body slightly relax. I know that I shouldn't be too surprised by her presence; she was Eli's wife afterall.

"How long has she been here?" I finally asked.

"She showed up about twenty minutes after you left for your walk,"

"Fuck, shit, I'm sorry for the cussing. I just haven't seen her since…" I trailed off.

"Since the day you found out about them." She finished for me.

"Yeah," I said, taking another long drag, and then flicking the rest of the cigarette onto the ground. "I guess I better get in there."

"Are you sure?" She asked, placing her warm hand onto my arm.

"I don't have much of a choice. She was his wife; I'm going to have to face her sooner or later. Might as well make it sooner."

"You're right," She said dropping her hand. I instantly missed it being there. It was weird that I felt like this about her; I haven't been this interested in a girl since, well since Charlotte. I shuddered at that thought. I didn't want to compare Bella to Charlotte, I had only known her for a few hours and I could already tell that there was no comparison. She was one of a kind.

I really wanted to touch her, fuck it, if I've learned anything in the last twenty four hours; it's that this life can end at any time. I reached my hand out and wrapped my large hand around her much smaller one. Her eyes shot up to mine in shock and a small gasp escaped her lips. I wonder if she also felt the tingle of electricity that happens every time we touch.

"Thank you for coming out here and warning me," I said, squeezing her hand gently.

"This may sound strange and I can't explain why I feel this way, but I feel oddly protective of you," she said, squeezing my hand back.

I looked at this tiny, beautiful girl in shock. How could she feel protective of me? She barely knew me, but I guess that's a lie, Eli probably told her everything that there was to know about me, well everything that he knew at least. I softly stroked her knuckles with my thumb and gently pulled her towards the house. I decided not to say anything to her revelation.

When we got to the back door I stopped. I looked down at the brown haired beauty at my side, trying to derive courage from her presence. She must have noticed my struggle because she held my hand harder and reached out and pushed the door open.

"I won't leave your side," she whispered as we walked into the kitchen.

Thankfully the room was void of anyone besides Bella and me.

"Where is everyone?" I whispered.

"In the sitting room,"

Keeping her hand crushed in mine, I walked towards the room in question. As we got closer to the sitting room, I could hear the dim voices of my family talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I am sure that it was related to Eli.

I crossed the threshold to the sitting room, dragging Bella behind me. Thankfully she hadn't tried to pry her hand from mine yet. I needed her, I couldn't explain why; but I did.

Everyone's heads turned to us as we entered. I found my mom quickly and kept my eyes locked on hers. She softly smiled when she saw us enter but then her eyes widened in shock as she took in Bella's hand clasped in mine. The shock quickly faded into something else, maybe happiness. It was hard to tell, because as quickly as it appeared it was gone, once again replaced by the sadness that had made its home there.

I knew that _she_ was there; I could feel her watching me. Finally, when I couldn't bear it any longer, I snapped my eyes in her direction. I imagined this moment many times. I imagined what it would feel like to see her again, what I would say if I ever did. Most of it would be very inappropriate given the situation we were in. I had many plans of action, but none of them told me how to deal with her being my brothers' widow.

So instead of saying anything, I just stared. She looked that same, but completely different at the same time. Her blonder hair, which in high school hung in soft curls to the bottom of her back, now was cut in a shoulder length bob. There were fine wrinkles surrounding her blue eyes that were not there last time I had seen her. Her face was fuller, but that was probably caused by the pregnancy. That realization caused my eyes to wander down to her swollen stomach, the same stomach that I use to lazily draw circles on with my finger after we had spent hours in my bed.

At that thought I realized that I felt nothing for her anymore, not hate; not love, I was completely indifferent. She stood up hastily, smoothing her hand down the front of her pale gray shirt.

"Edward," she breathed out.

"Charlotte," I addressed her, tightening my hand around Bella's' once again.

Then all of a sudden she was rushing across the floor and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I froze, my whole body going rigid with tension. I felt Bella trying to gently pull her hand away. I refused to let her. My free hand hung limply at my side. I refused to touch her; I may feel indifferently towards her but I sure the fuck wasn't going to hug her. She clung to me tightly, sobs escaping her. I felt her body heaving. I needed to get her away from me, before I exploded.

I looked at my dad in desperation. His face was shocked as he took in Charlottes' form clinging to mine. A quick assessment of everyone else in the room revealed that they were all in the same state as my dad.

"Dad," I finally growled out. The sound of voice seemed to snap him out of the trance he was in. He swiftly stood up and rested his hands on Charlottes' shoulders.

"Charlotte, sweetie," my Dad addressed her. "Why don't you come sit down?"

She didn't budge. "Char, let go of Edward," he said a little more forcibly, pulling her back a little. He must have broken through to her, her red swollen eyes looked up at me and another sob broke out and she quickly folded herself into my Dad's waiting arms. I shot him a thankful look and then quickly darted from the room. Still dragging a helpless Bella behind me.

 **Here ya go! I hope you enjoyed it, now go review! You know you want to. Next update will be in about a week!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for everyone that took time to review last chapter! Every single one is very much appreciated.**

 **I don't own anything besides any original content and characters.**

Last chapter:

She didn't budge. "Char, let go of Edward," he said a little more forcibly, pulling her back a little. He must have broken through to her, her red swollen eyes looked up at me and another sob broke out and she quickly folded herself into my Dad's waiting arms. I shoot him a thankful look and then quickly darted from the room. Still dragging a helpless Bella behind me.

*************TOT****************

I didn't stop until we reached my bedroom on the third floor. I completely forgot that I was towing Bella behind me until I felt her hand, the one not clasped tightly in mine, touch my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Edward?"

I quickly released her hand, immediately feeling the loss.

"I'm fine, she just caught me by surprise," I said, turning around and facing her. "I didn't think that she would touch me."

"That surprised me too," She said breaking eye contact and taking in my bedroom. "I have never been in here."

"What?" I asked.

"I've never been in your room before. Whenever Eli and I would come here, he avoided your room; hence I have never seen it."

She was rambling now, but I think that she was trying to take my mind off of the woman that was two floors beneath us.

"Oh, well look around then," I said, waving her further into the room.

Not knowing what to do with myself while she browsed I decided to make myself comfortable on the black leather couch that lined one wall. Lounging back, I rested one foot on the low table that sat in front of it.

"You have a huge music collection," she said randomly, as she dragged her finger over the cases that lined the shelf.

"That's nothing, you should see my collection back in New York," I said thinking about the wall in my apartment that I had turned in shelves that now housed all of my music.

"Hmmm…" She said moving onto the shelf that housed the books I had left behind.

"You have great taste in literature also," she mumbled.

She stopped at the pictures; with a shaking hand I saw her pick up the frame holding the picture of Eli and me from graduation.

"You guys look so happy here," she said, I could hear the tears in her voice. I realized how selfish I was being, I mean I knew that I lost my brother, but she had also lost her best friend of almost ten years.

"We were," I said standing up and walking towards her. Once I was closer I could see the tears that were silently leaking down her face. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest.

"Shhhhh," I breathed into her hair. Maybe it was strange that I was holding her but her words from earlier were replaying in my mind, about she felt protective of me. I think that I was feeling a little protective of her also. I didn't know where that was coming from, but I don't think that I want it to go away, and that slightly scared me. I had never felt protective of someone else, at least not in this way.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed into my chest. "I should be comforting you."

"Silly Bella," I said as I rubbed my hand up and down her back. "I want to comfort you; he was someone very special to you also."

I don't know how long we stood there like that, but eventually her sobs turned into silent tears and then turned into the occasional hiccup. Finally her body stilled and I knew that she was spent. I felt her start to pull away and panic shot through me for some unknown reason, I didn't want her to leave the safety of my arms. I was being ridiculous.

She stepped away from me, her cheeks pinked in embarrassment when she saw the wet spots on my shirt. I didn't let her get to far away from me; I reached out and grabbed her hand again, causing a small smile to spread across her lips.

"Tell me about you and Eli?" I asked, leading her over to my couch.

"Okay," She said, settling beside me on the couch.

"We meet at college, like I said before; we were partnered together on a project and that was it. We were the best of friends since. I never got along with other girls, I wasn't one for petty gossip and I have no fashion sense to speak of, so I always got along with guys better. Eli and I just clicked. He needed someone to talk to about everything and he became like the older brother that I never had."

"When we graduated I thought that we would drift apart, especially since Charlotte didn't like me very much,"

I interrupted her right there. "Why didn't she like you?" Who couldn't like this warm, caring, beautiful girl?

"I think that she was intimidated by me. Eli and I had a very unique relationship and I think that she felt like I was trying to take him away from her. We both tried to show her that we were nothing but friends, but I don't think she ever truly believed us. She eventually just turned her head the in the other direction and acted like I didn't even exist. She has barely acknowledged me in about four years, I don't really care, but I know that it always upset Eli that she couldn't get over her jealousy, I think that he hoped that she would eventually come around," She explained.

"So she thought that you had feelings for him?" I asked, kind of curious myself.

"Yes, but I never had _those_ kind of feelings," she said, blushing for some unknown reason. "I mean I thought that he was cute when I first starting working with him, but it took about five seconds for me to realize that he was a huge dork and that I felt nothing but brotherly love for him."

I chuckled for a second, my brother was a huge dork, he loved Star Trek and recorded every episode on endless VHS Tapes. I bet he was so excited when they invented the DVR.

"He was a dork," I agreed.

"He was," She whispered. "But he was the best friend I could ever have asked for."

I nodded my head; I really didn't know what to say to her. I knew that he could be the best friend you ever asked for, but I also knew what it felt like to have him stab you in the back.

We sat in silence for a long while; I am sure both reliving memories of Eli. Part of me was glad that she only had good thoughts of him; he deserved to be remembered that way.

A knock on my door interrupted the quiet.

"Edward," My mom called out, sticking her head into my bedroom.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Oh hey, there you two are," She said, smiling sadly at us. "I was wondering where you hauled butt of to, and dragging poor Bella behind you."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I said to both of them. "I just needed to get away from her."

"It's understandable," Bella said, laying her hand on top of my arm. A jolt of electricity shot through me.

"Of course it is, sweetheart," My mom agreed, but her eyes where trained on Bella's small hand. A soft smile danced across her lips for a minute.

"I thought I would come check on you," She said.

"I'll give you and your mom some alone time," Bella said pulling her hand away and making her way to the door. "I can start something to eat, if you would like?" she directed at my mom.

"Oh, thank you dear. I am sure that everyone is getting a little hungry. There is some left over ham in the fridge, maybe you could make something with that," Mom said.

"I'll see what I can do," Bella chuckled and then ducked out the door after giving me one last small smile.

"She really is something," My mom said after a minute, I realized that I was still staring at the door.

"Oh…yeah…she's nice," I said awkwardly.

"Yes she is. Eli and she got on so well, I wish you could have seen it," My mom said, and then she flushed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply anything with that. I know that you and your brother had problems, I didn't mean to bring your separation up like that."

I reached out and grabbed her hand. "It's fine mom, really. It's something that I have come to terms with, but I do need to tell you how sorry I am for leaving like that, you deserved better than me running away."

"Oh honey," She said sitting down next to me and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "I don't blame you for going, you were young, hurt, and oh so angry. If anything I should apologize for not being on your side about everything."

"Mom, it's not your fault," I sighed, I never blamed my mom for anything. I knew why she took my Dad's side on everything, they were a unit, it was them against the world. I could only hope that one day I find someone to be like that with. "You stood with dad like you should have, I can't blame you for that."

"Well I should have told him to back off," she huffed. "Plus once everything came out about what happened with Eli and Char, then we really understood where your anger was coming from, but by then it was too late, you were already gone."

Crap, now she was crying again. I hated the fact that my stupidity made her cry.

"Mom, please don't cry," I begged pulling her into my arms and hugging her tightly. "I hate the pain that I have caused you."

"I'm not crying because of that," she sobbed. "I just missed you so much, it is like I'm in a dream because I get to see you and hold you again, but then part of me feels like I'm in a nightmare, because I had to lose one son to get the other one back. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way."

"Oh mom," I breathed into her hair. She may not realize it but it is my fault that she feels that way, I should have come home a long time ago. Maybe if I had Eli wouldn't be dead, maybe I would have had another chance to tell my brother that I loved him. "Don't feel like that, you have nothing to feel guilty about, if anyone is guilty it is me. I should have come home a long time ago; it shouldn't have been because of this."

"Aren't we pair?" She chuckled sadly.

"That we are," I agreed. I spent the next twenty minutes just holding her; she rested her head on my chest, her pressed against my heart.

We joined everyone, with the exception of Charlotte as she was 'resting', in the dining room for dinner. Bella had somehow made a huge pot of ham and cabbage soup. It was fucking delicious.

"This is amazing," I moaned in between bites.

"Of course it is," my cousin Emmett boomed out. I swear that guy only has two volume settings louder and even fucking louder. "Bella here is a chef after all."

I looked at her in confusion, I thought that she a therapist; like Eli. She had never told me that, but I just assumed since she was in his classes, she had majored the same.

"What's that look for, Edward?" She asked amusement in her tone.

"Sorry, I guess I just thought that you were also a therapist," I explained

"Oh I was," she started but then her face twisted in sadness, whatever she was thinking of wasn't pleasant.

"Are you okay?" I asked taking her hand into mine, completely forgetting that we were at the table with all of my family members.

"Sorry," she whispered. "It's just that Eli was the one who talked me into cooking."

A sad smile appeared on her face. "You see, I always thought that I wanted to become a therapist, it was my dream from the time I was very little. But once we were out there in the "real world" I hated it. It was depressing and I found that I couldn't handle it. One night I broke down to Eli; telling him how I was feeling. That's when he recommended that I find something that I truly loved to do. Well cooking was it, I took classes and the rest is history."

I stared at this girl in amazement; she was so brave, giving up her college training to do something else. Most people wouldn't have the guts to walk away like that.

"That was brave of you," I said squeezing her hand.

"I couldn't have done it without Eli," She whispered.

Before I could say anything else, a bitter voice interrupted us from the entry way. "So is this where you finally admit that you were in love with my husband?"

 **Yes that is where I am leaving it. I know so mean of me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always please review and let me know what you think!**

 **XO-**

 **Symphiann**


	5. Chapter 5

**Last Chapter:**

 **I stared at this girl in amazement; she was so brave, giving up her college training to do something else. Most people wouldn't have the guts to walk away like that.**

 **"That was brave of you," I said squeezing her hand.**

 **"I couldn't have done it without Eli," She whispered.**

 **Before I could say anything else, a bitter voice interrupted us from the entry way.**

 **"So is this where you finally admit that you are in love with my husband?"**

"Excuse me," Bella choked out, her spoon falling out of her hand and clattering against her bowl.

"I said, is this where you admit you are in love with Eli," Charlotte repeated.

"I don't think that this is the appropriate time to have this discussion," my mom said firmly.

"I think that it is. I think that I have the right to know if she was fucking my husband," Charlotte bit out harshly.

Bella looked to be in shock, her chest heaving up and down in exertion.

"That's enough Charlotte," I said sternly.

"Oh what, she's fucking you now too?" she turned her steely blue eyes on me.

"I said that is enough," I yelled at her, slamming my fists onto the table.

Charlotte visibly flinched. "I guess that's answer enough for me," she sneered. "Couldn't have one brother, so you settled for the other."

I felt Bella stiffen next to me and I chanced a quick glance at her. Her chocolate eyes were glassy with tears, her chin was quivering. A feeling of protectiveness washed over me stronger then I had ever felt before.

Before I had a chance to defend Bella, she stood up slowly and faced Charlotte.

"You know Charlotte, that's really rich coming from you. I'm sorry that you lost Eli, especially in your condition, but that doesn't give you the right to come in here and sling mud. I have never been in love with Eli, I never looked at him as anything other than my best friend. The fact that you can't or won't see that, just shows how self centered you are. Eli is dead," Her voice cracked and tears started sliding down her face. "And all you can do is come in her and accuse me of being in love with him and also have the audacity to imply that I am now sleeping with his brother, whom I just met today! Maybe this is how you deal with your grief, but it is unacceptable. You should apologize to everyone here, for being so damn disrespectful."

She stopped her rant for a minute and turned to face the rest of the table.

"Now if you all will excuse me, I have to go." She pushed away from the table and was out the door, pushing past a shocked Charlotte, before I could move.

"Fuck," I exclaimed loudly jumping up from my seat, with every intention of chasing after her.

"I'm so sorry," Charlotte starting blubbering from the doorway. "I just…."

"You just what, Char?" I asked condescendingly "Seriously!"

"Please Edward," she begged, walking into the room and stopping right in front of me.

"I shouldn't have said that, but you weren't there, you didn't see the two of them together."

"No I wasn't," I said coldly. "I wonder whose fault that was? I am going to go after her."

"Just let her go," Charlotte protested. "She doesn't belong here anyways."

My father finally decided to enter the conversation. "Charlotte, that's enough. Bella is welcome here, just as much as anyone else. She was very important to Eli and to act like she wasn't is a lie. So I suggest that you wrangle yourself in when she is around."

I gave my dad an appreciative look. I knew that he wasn't doing anything for me directly; but the fact that he was willing to stand up for Bella spoke to my soul.

"This is ridiculous. I can't believe that you all are taking that little slut's side in all of this," Charlotte protested loudly, she was almost vibrating with anger.

"You need to calm down, Char. It's not good for the baby to get all worked up," My dad said, walking over and leading her to a chair.

I'd had enough of her drama queen show, and I'm sure that I had missed Bella by standing here and listening to this bullshit.

"I'm going to see if I can still catch her," I said to no one in general.

"Edward," Charlotte called out as I was stepping out of the room.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth.

"Would you please stay," she asked sweetly, turning her blue eyes on me. She gave the same face that she use to when we were younger and she wanted to get her way…it didn't work on me anymore.

"What?"

"I was hoping that we could spend some time together and catch up. I guess I thought that's what you would want."

I stared at her like she was delusional. She honestly thought that I would want to spend time with her….catching up? I rather push pins under my finger nails.

"Why would I want that?" I asked sharply.

"Well, because you know…we use to be so close," Then she had the audacity to bat her fucking eyelashes at me. I looked at my dad, trying to express my concern to him. She must be cracking. He gave me a quick nod.

"Char, why don't we get you to lay down again, you must be very tired," he asked gently, using his best doctor voice.

"Will you lay down with me Edward?" She asked, giving me a small smile.

I bit my tongue, I knew that she was acting out in grief, she had to be. No normal person would be hitting on their dead husband's brother; but then again Charlotte was never normal.

"I don't think that would be good idea," my dad filled in for me since I was stunned into silence. "Edward has things that he needs to be doing."

"Okay," she murmured. She looked exhausted. "Maybe later."

"Yes, maybe later," my dad said, his voice lulled like he was talking to a child.

I just rolled my eyes, I may feel a little bad for her, but there was no way in hell that I was going to lay down with her later.

I spun around on my heel and left the scene in the dining room behind me. I rushed to the front door and prayed that Bella was still here, even though it was very unlikely. I stepped out from under the safety of the porch into the drizzling rain. My eyes took a minute to adjust to the darkness, fuck I forgot how dark it was here. New York was never dark, not even at night. The city lights made it impossible for it to be.

Once my eyes were adjusted I quickly surveyed the cars in the driveway. I knew that the first two black sedans were my families' rentals. The huge SUV must belong to Emmett, finally my eyes rested on an old red, beat up Chevy truck. I wouldn't have guessed it was hers if she wasn't sitting in the driver's seat, shaking with sobs.

I ran through the rain and yanked her truck door open.

"Edward," she gasped out.

"Are you okay?" I asked immediately.

"I'm fine," she said through her tears.

"You look fine," I said sarcastically. "Scoot over."

"Why?"

"Because I'm getting drenched out here," I explained. No need to tell her that I just really wanted to be close to her.

"No, sorry, I meant why are you out here?" she said, not moving an inch.

"I was worried about you. Charlotte was out of line. Now scoot."

She scooted over quickly and I pulled myself up into her truck. I pulled the creaking door shut behind me.

Thankfully she had the heater going full blast; my shirt was thoroughly soaked by the impromptu shower I was just in.

"I'm sorry that she treated you that way, honey," I said pulling her shaking frame into the side of my body. She buried her head into my side.

"It's not anything that she hasn't said before," she mumbled against my shirt.

"Well it was still uncalled for, especially given the situation," I said.

"I know," she blubbered.

"Honey, please don't let it get you so upset," I said as I stroked her hair, it was the softest hair that I have ever felt, I thought to myself. "She is not worth it."

"I'm not upset because of her per say, or even what she had to say. It's just that, I thought given everything that has happened that she could act like an adult. This is the shit that upset Eli all the time. I guess it's the fact the she couldn't just drop it for a couple of days upset me. She made me feel guilty for being here, for wanting to be here," she said in a rush, her sobs picking up again.

"You have every right to be here, Bella," I said sternly "Everyone else in that room agrees with that."

"I know."

"Well then why leave?"

"This is her family, she is a Cullen and I didn't want to intrude," she said, pulling her face out of my side and looking up at me.

"Well I happen to be a Cullen too and these people are more my family, more Eli's family and we want you here. So no running away," I said, flashing a crooked smile.

She blushed suddenly, tucking her head back into my side again.

"I guess I should add no hiding to that statement, but I'm kind of enjoying you buried in my side," I joked, hoping to lighten her mood.

She pulled away from me; even in the dark I knew that her face was flaming red.

"Hey, I said I liked that," I pulled her back into my side.

"I just don't want to over step some boundaries," She said, lifting her head and looking at me.

"What boundaries?"

"You know, when I go from being your brother's best friend to being the crazy girl that won't leave your side," she said, trying to make it sound like a joke, but I knew better, she was being serious.

"Well, you are nowhere close to being crazy, you want crazy you should have stayed in the dining room,"

"Why?" She asked settling back into my side.

"Charlotte actually asked me to stay and catch up with her and then she wanted me to lay down with her. Now that is what I call crazy," I said.

"Or sad," she added.

"That too," I agreed.

"Why would she think that you would lay down with her? Does she not remember everything that she put you through?" she asked.

"I guess not or maybe she doesn't think that it was that big of a deal."

"How could she not think it was a big deal, she tore you and your brother apart because she was selfish," she said, her voice rising slightly in anger.

"She wasn't alone in her actions," I said sadly, I didn't want to talk about this right now. It was weird, part of me felt guilty for being mad at Eli still, but the other part of me, the part that hated my brother for the last ten years just couldn't let go… not yet. It was something that I was going to have to work on. Maybe it was time to go back to my therapist.

"That's true," she said thoughtfully. "But still, how could she think that you would want to spend any time with her?"

"I don't think it was me that she wanted to spend time with; I think it was my body, my face. I honestly think that she wanted to pretend that I was Eli for a while," I tried to explain what I thought was going on.

"I guess that makes sense. She must be drowning right now." Her tone was softer, almost like she was feeling bad for Char.

"I think so, thankfully my Dad took control of the situation. He talked her into lying down and resting, I just hope all of this stress doesn't hurt the baby. It's the only thing of Eli's we have left."

"I know, I was thinking the same thing. I hope that she will at least let me see the baby every once in a while. Eli was so excited about being a dad, it was all he talked about," she said sadly.

"I will make sure that you are a part of his life, I promise," I said truthfully, pulling her closer to me.

I really didn't know how I was going to hold up that promise, but I would figure it out, even if it meant talking to Charlotte.

"Thank you," She said softly.

"You're very welcome, now let's get back inside. My family is probably wondering where we are"

"Okay" she said.

I opened the creaking door and slid out. Taking her hand, I helped her out of the dry truck and into the pouring rain. We made a run for the door, holding hands and slipping and sliding through the mud. I couldn't get enough of this girl.

When we reached the porch, I stopped her from entering the door. She was standing in front of me, her chest heaving up down from running, her brown hair plastered to her head, the little make up that she had been wearing was gone and with all of that I was pretty sure that I had never seen anything so beautiful.

Before I could stop and think, I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers.

 **Yes that is where I am leaving it. I know so mean of me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always please review and let me know what you think!**

 **XO-**

 **Symphiann**


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